Maybe you have the perfect plan. It was set and good to go. Then all of sudden, almost out of no where, MEGA….UBER….ULTRA….FAILLLLL! You can read the stories, hear the audio, and watch the videos of ALL the FRIDAY FAIL STORIES! Plus, listen to Rizz and his “voice of an angel” sing the Friday FAIL THEME SONG! It’s glorious!
LISTEN TO TODAY’S FRIDAY FAIL STORIES ON THE PLAYER BELOW:
A 21 year old dude from O’Fallon is in the hospital after standing in a car with his head out of the sunroof. This happened on Wednesday…the guy was riding with a buddy southbound on 270 when the driver took the ramp onto westbound 70 a little too quick. The car flipped and the 21 year old, was ejected from the car! He was taken to the hospital and is in serious condition. The driver was arrested on felony assault and DUI chargers.
You just hate to see luxury car-on-car violence like this. Yesterday morning in Chicago, a man was pulling his BMW SUV into a spot on the third floor of a parking garage . . . when he accidentally hit the gas. That sent his car FLYING through some guard wires, over a short concrete ledge, and onto the floor below. And his BMW landed on . . . a JAGUAR and a MERCEDES. There was some damage, especially to the Jaguar, but fortunately no one was hurt. The police say the BMW driver was, quote, “shaken.”
During the official presentation of the new Microsoft Surface tablet, Windows Executive Steven Sinofsky opens up Internet Explorer and almost immediately the tablet crashes. He tries to continue on and show the NETFLIX app on the tablet, but the whole thing freezes up and then dies. He’s forced to stop and grab a backup tablet and acts as if nothing happens
A Sacramento man died yesterday trying to get into his own home through his window. Police say the man was impaled by the window and bled to death from broken glass while stuck in the window frame. Many locals in the area thought he had been murdered, including this particular neighbor: “It don’t seem like no accident to me,” one neighbor told CBS13. “You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. I mean I ain’t no CSI, but I watch CSI.” Well said, well said.
Last week, 20-year-old Milton J. Hodges of Green Cove Springs, Florida robbed a Lowe’s in Kissimmee, Florida . . . then escaped from security guards by breaking into the Cypress Cove NUDIST RESORT and Spa. Once Milton was inside, he pulled out a knife and stole a golf cart from a security guard. But when the cops got there, they were easily able to spot Milton . . . because he was the only one WEARING CLOTHES. He was arrested. Ted Hadley is the owner of the nudist resort, which has been around for 48 years. He says, quote, “We usually don’t get the outside world coming through our gates like that. We don’t get a lot of crime in The Cove, so this was definitely unusual for us . . . definitely a lot of excitement.”
Officials in southern Montana say a Canadian truck driver found that out the hard way when he tried to stop a fuel tank leak with the all-purpose tape before going to sleep at a truck stop near Livingston. A truck stop employee called Park County firefighters at about 3 a.m. Thursday to report the leak. Fire Chief Dann Babcox estimates about 100 gallons of diesel fuel leaked from the tractor-trailer onto the ground. The truck driver works for a company based in Saskatchewan. He says he thought he might have hit something on Interstate 90, but when he stopped at the time, he didn’t notice any damage.
Part of a dead woman’s body was mistakenly sent to the BJ’s Wholesale headquarters in Westborough, Mass. on Friday — all because of an itty bitty shipping error. The torso was headed for a research lab in Florida, but a misprinted label sent it to horrified employees at the home office of the members-only wholesale giant. “They started opening the package and they saw the description of what they were opening, that it was a torso of a female,” Westborough police Sgt. Jonathan Kalagher told the station. “They never saw the torso. They saw there was packaging and some type of gel. They immediately notified their supervisor.” The body wasn’t damaged in the flop because it was marked “perishable,” and was handled properly. The company then made arrangements to have the box shipped to the rightful lab.
A gator bit the hand off an Everglades City airboat captain on Tuesday while six tourists onboard watched.The man, who is known as Captain Wally, was reportedly feeding the alligator while leading a Captain Doug’s Everglades Tour when the attack occurred. In cell phone footage taken by a NBC2 producer who was on a Captain Doug’s tour a few weeks prior, an airboat captain can be seen feeding a large gator who jumps feet out of the water towards the food.
A man in Iowa was trying to shoot a raccoon which was trapped in a cage. He fired his handgun and the bullet ricocheted off the cage and hit him in his lower abdomen. He dropped the gun and it fired again…hitting him almost exactly in the same spot! FAIL!
Last weekend, a 28 year old dude in England was crushed to death after trying to lift weights in his garage after drinking until 3AM.
RIZZUTO’S FAVORITE STORY OF THE WEEK:
Tulsa police say a reported abduction attempt turned out to be a case of two men catching a man who tried to steal a car, then tying him to a fence while they waited for officers to arrive.It happened Monday shortly after noon. Police say the victim and his friend were bailing hay in a field when they saw a man get into the vehicle and drive away. The owner had left his keys in the car, police say. They followed the would be thief until he got stopped in traffic a few blocks north. At that point, they pulled the man out of the car, trussed him up with rope, and bound him to the chain link fence. Police say the men are experienced cowboys, and they had no trouble roping and tying the man.