Maybe you have the perfect plan. It was set and good to go. Then all of sudden, almost out of no where, MEGA….ULTRA….FAILLLLL! You can read the stories, hear the audio, and watch the videos of ALL the FRIDAY FAIL STORIES!  Plus, listen to Rizz and his “voice of an angel” sing the Friday FAIL THEME SONG! It’s glorious!


A Burger King employee posted a pretty nasty photo online on Monday.  It shows him or a co-worker standing in the lettuce they use for the burger toppings. In other words, the photo shows a guy from the knees down, standing in the kitchen of a Burger King, with each shoe planted in an open tub of shredded lettuce.   And the caption said, quote, “This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King.” But check this out:  Even though the guy posted it on the website 4Chan anonymously, he and the two other employees involved were identified in about 15 minutes, using the GPS information embedded in the photo.  And all three of them have been fired. If you must know, the Burger King involved is located at 1475 Worton Boulevard, in Mayfield Heights, Ohio.  That’s a suburb of Cleveland.

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it was two flying lawn chairs strapped to 350 helium balloons! In a soaring feat reminiscent of a certain Disney movie, a gas station owner and an Iraqi adventurer lifted off in a homemade flying machine in central Oregon on Saturday — only to be forced down again by storms moving through the area. The area saw heavy rain and hail as big as nickels, the National Weather Service said.

A guy in Minnesota accidentally treated his lawn with GRASS KILLER instead of weed killer, and wiped out all 40,000 square feet of it.  FAIL!

Greater Rochester International Airport in New York was shut down for about three hours Saturday morning after a customer joked about having a bomb in one of his bags to a JetBlue ticket agent. Francesco Pagano, 32, of Sicily, has since been charged with falsely reporting an incident – a second-degree felony. The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office says Pagano was attempting to purchase a ticket inside the airport around 6:15 a.m. on Saturday when he made the “bomb in bag” comment. According to reports, officials were concerned because he had arrived without a reservation, requested a layover at JFK International Airport in New York City, and had one bag with him while he left two others near the rental car area. John McCaffrey, federal security director with the Transportation Security Administration, tells the news outlet another concern was that Pagano was “stoic” while authorities interviewed him, but did not elaborate.

So you get to the airport and realize you brought your GUN.  You don’t want the TSA to confiscate it but you don’t have time to take it home or you’ll miss your flight.  WHAT DO YOU DO?  The answer is . . . not this. On June 24th, 69-year-old Soren Muir Johnson of Eagle Point, Oregon was flying out of Portland and realized he had his loaded gun with him. So he came up with a plan:  He’d hide the gun underneath a PLANTER BOX in the airport.  That way, he could just grab it when he got back from his trip. But security watched him hide the gun . . . and he was arrested for reckless endangerment. By the way, if you find yourself in this situation, you ARE allowed to put a gun in your checked luggage.  You have to declare it when you check in, the gun can’t be loaded, and it has to be in a hard, locked container.

Tavares Donnell Colbert, 36, was arrested in Oklahoma, U.S., after accidentally shooting himself with a gun he planned to sellA man was arrested after shooting himself in the genitals with a gun he planned to sell. Police were called to the Southwest Medical Center in Oklahoma City on Saturday after a 36-year-old man came in to the emergency room bleeding from a gunshot wound. Tavares Donnell Colbert told officers the weapon went off while he was checking it to make sure that it worked properly.  Tavares Donnell Colbert, 36, was arrested in Oklahoma, U.S., after accidentally shooting himself with a gun he planned to sell. Colbert said he bought the gun on the street in Kansas, before driving towards a convenience store car park near Southeast 44th Street and Shields Boulevard, where he planned to sell it. He pulled over on the way to make sure the weapon was working properly, and accidentally shot himself in the groin.


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Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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