FRIDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBS & TODAY’S PORNO BDAY

Today’s CRAP ON CELEBS has us chatting about Fred Willard and him getting busted for jerkin his gerkin in a porno theater, the VIACOM/DIRECT TV thing ends, and we chat CRAPPY BDAYS and PORNO BDAY!

Photobucket
Actor FRED WILLARD was arrested Wednesday night for PLEASURING HIMSELF in a porno theater in Hollywood. He was cited for a misdemeanor and released, and he’ll have to appear in court at a later date. If you don’t know who Fred Willard is, he played WILL FERRELL’S boss in “Anchorman”. He was also Robert Barone’s father-in-law on “Everybody Loves Raymond” . . . he’s Phil’s dad on “Modern Family” . . . and he played a gay man on “Roseanne”.  His partner was played by MARTIN MULL Oh, and he’s also in a movie that’s currently in production called . . . I swear I’m not making this up . . . “THE YANK”. Willard was enjoying himself at the Tiki Theater when police caught him GIVING HIMSELF A HAND at around 8:45 P.M. UPDATE: We finally found out what movies were playing there that night….”Follow Me 2″, “Step Dad 2” and a porno parody of the JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT series “The Client List”.  There’s no word which one was playing when he was arrested. Fred Willard tells TMZ that the whole thing was a MISUNDERSTANDING, and that while he respects the cops, he has a, quote, “difference of opinion” with them concerning what happened. Then he dropped what appeared to be an unintentional sexual innuendo . . . quote, “It’s all being straightened out.” Sadly, this has already cost Willard a gig.  He’s been fired from the PBS series “Market Warriors”.

The 2012 Emmy nominations were announced yesterday. As usual, HBO got the most nominations of any network. For the first time ever, there were no shows from broadcast networks nominated for Outstanding Drama Series. The six shows nominated are “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad” from AMC, “Game of Thrones” and “Boardwalk Empire” from HBO, “Downton Abbey” from PBS, and “Homeland” from Showtime. Three broadcast shows were nominated for Outstanding Comedy Series, along with three HBO series.  The broadcast shows are “Modern Family” from ABC, “Big Bang Theory” from CBS, and “30 Rock” from NBC. The cable series nominated are “Veep”, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, and “Girls” from HBO. There’s OFFICIALLY been a changing of the guard in late night.  Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert were nominated . . . Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, and even DAVID LETTERMAN were not. There are four actors who should be the most surprised they were left out of the nominations. NICK OFFERMAN from “Parks and Recreation”, MADELEINE STOWE from “Revenge”, JOEL MCHALE from “Community”, and HUGH LAURIE from the final season of “House M.D.” An episode of “American Dad” got a nomination for best animated program but “South Park” and “Archer” didn’t.  Someone is NOT paying attention. Although, “2 Broke Girls” didn’t get nominated….so maybe someone IS paying attention. But the prize for best reaction of the day goes to the CW, which got ZERO nominations.  They tweeted, quote, “Emmy nomination day!  Or as we call it, Thursday.” JIMMY KIMMEL will host this year’s Emmys, which air live on September 23rd on ABC. You can see the full list of nominees HERE

Angelina Jolie is reportedly feuding with her soon-to-be-mother-in-law. In addition to their obviously differing political positions, RadarOnline.com reported that Jolie thinks Jane Pitt’s gifts for Shiloh are disrespectful. A source told the website, “It’s well documented that Shiloh likes to dress like a boy. But Jane still insists on buying her fairy costumes and princess dresses, which Angelina finds very disrespectful.”

LIVE has sued their former singer, ED KOWALCYZK, for $2 MILLION for claiming he’s still in the band. You a-holes….he IS the band. The three remaining members of the band Live — guitarist Chad Taylor, drummer Chad Gracey and bassist Patrick Dahlheimer — are suing former lead singer Ed Kowalcyzk to make sure he does not use the band’s name on his own. According to Billboard, they are also seeking an injunction and $2 million in statutory damages for trademark infringement, trademark dilution and false designation of origin. They claim that Kowalcyzk is using the band name in ads for his own concerts and misrepresenting to the public that he is still in the group.

Dumb and Dumber 2 might still be a reality. Although it was widely reportedly that Jim Carrey had dropped out of the project, his costar Jeff Daniels told Jimmy Fallon earlier this week that there’s still hope of them teaming up again. He explained that Farrelly brothers are doing a re-write on the script, that there are still talks with Carrey. He added, “Jim’s wanted to do it for a year and a half, I think next week it’ll either come together or it won’t . . . indications are it probably will.”

FRIDAY TV:
ABC: The season finale of THE BACHELORETTE
AMC: BREAKING BAD
HBO: TRUE BLOOD and THE NEWSROOM
SHOWTIME: A new episode of WEEDS
CBS: BIG BROTHER
FOX: THE 2012 TEEN CHOICE AWARDS…Demi Lovato and Kevin McHale are scheduled to host.

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–Robin Williams – 61
–Chris Cornell – 48  (Soundgarden and Audioslave)
–Sandra Oh – 41
–Carlos Santana – 65
–Jon Lovitz – 55
–Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam) – 64
–Alex Trebek – 72
–David Spade – 48
–Stone Gossard – 46  (Pearl Jam)
–Selena Gomez – 20  (Justin Bieber’s piece)
–Shawn Michaels – 47  (The Heartbreak Kid.  Former WWF (slash) WWE superstar)
–Danny Glover – 66
–Gisele Bündchen – 32  (Tom Brady’s husband)
–John Leguizamo – 48
–Bob Dole – 89
–George Clinton – 71  (Parliament Funkadelic)
–Willem Dafoe – 57  (The Green Goblin in “Spider-Man”)
–Albert Brooks – 65
–Julianne Hough – 24  (“Dancing With the Stars”)
–Ray Allen – 37  (Miami Heat)
–Omar Epps – 39  (Dr. Eric Foreman on “House”. And Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin’s doppelganger)
–Josh Holloway – 43  (Sawyer on “Lost”.)
–Dean Winters – 48  (He’s Mayhem in the Allstate commercials)
–Josh Hartnett – 34
–Justin Bartha – 34  (Doug in the “Hangover” movies)
–Don Henley – 65  (The Eagles)
–Terence Stamp – 74  (General Zod in “Superman 2” and Superman’s biological father, Jor-El, on “Smallville”.)


Kinzie Kenner – 28 – Today’s birthday girl has been on her knees more than a desperate man praying for a miracle……in 137 fine films including:
“Lil Red Riding Slut”
“Ass Whores From Planet Squirt Volume 2”
“Long Shlongs Volume 2”
“Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre”
“10 Dirty Ho’s Volume 1”
“Glazed and Confused Volume 6”
“Mad At Daddy Volume 3”
“Destination Dirtpipe Volume 2”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s