With today’s DISCOUNT NEWS and SPORTS we have a quick update on the Dark Knight shooting and the Bus Monitor who is now CASHING IN.  And we have a quick sports update as to what you may have missed last night!

Yesterday morning, the Colorado theatre shooter James Holmes made his first court appearance. Here were the main takeaways: The judge said they’ll continue to hold him without bond on SUSPICION of murder….and then there was his appearance. His hair was still dyed bright orange-red . . . he didn’t say anything . . . and his eyes were either bugging out, or kind of dead and unfocused. It seemed like he was trying to stay awake, or that things weren’t really registering with him. He was represented by a public defender. The District Attorney’s office will be seeking first-degree murder charges. Formal charges will be filed against him on July 30th. They haven’t decided yet whether to seek the death penalty….but you’ve GOTTA believe that they will. Colorado has only ever executed one criminal, and they have three on death row. There’s still no indication what the shooter’s motive was . . . if any. You can see some photos and video of his court appearance on today’s show blog. Meanwhile, a lawyer for his family held a news conference…and when asked if they stood by him, they’re attorney said, “Yes they do. He’s their son.” James’s mother wanted to clarify a statement she made to ABC News right after news of the shooting broke out. Someone from ABC News called her at 5 a.m. local time in San Diego, waking her up, and it was reported by the network that after being told that her son had been identified by police as having carried out a mass killing, she said, “You have the right person. I need to call the police. I need to fly to Colorado.” But his Mom says (quote), “I did not know anything about a shooting at the time. ABC News asked if I was Arlene Holmes and if my son was James Holmes, who lives in Aurora, Colorado. I answered, ‘Yes, you have the right person.’ I was referring to myself. I asked him to tell me why he was calling and he told me about a shooting in Aurora. He asked for a comment. I told him I could not comment because I did not know if the person he was talking about was my son and I would need to find out.”

It’s hard to find any good news in the “Dark Knight Rises” shooting . . . but at least we’ve found one silver lining. A 22-year-old chick named Petra Anderson was at the theater, and was shot FOUR times . . . including one bullet to the head. But she survived. And it’s all thanks to an extremely rare brain defect she DIDN’T EVEN KNOW she had. Petra has a genetic defect that causes a small amount of brain fluid to flow from the front of her brain to the back. The way the bullet hit, it traveled THROUGH the fluid . . . which channeled it away from hitting any of her brain matter. The brain defect doesn’t affect her brain function . . . she probably would’ve gone her entire life without even knowing about it if the shooting hadn’t happened. The bullet is still lodged in the back of her head, but she’s alive . . . and is expected to make a full recovery.

Bus monitor Karen Klein, of Greece, N.Y., is surrounded by school children while riding a tourist duck boat, an amphibious vehicle, in Boston on June 28, 2012. An online campaign to raise money for Klein, who was bullied by four middle schoolers, closed on Friday at $700,000.

So far there haven’t been any copycats of the “Dark Knight Rises” shooting.  But this guy came the closest. On Saturday night, a 49-year-old man in Maine went to see the movie  . . . and took a loaded gun with him in a backpack. Then, on Sunday, he decided to drive to New Hampshire . . . to SHOOT a former employer.  He packed an AK-47, four handguns, and several boxes of ammo. On the way, he was driving 112 miles-per-hour . . . and other drivers called the cops.  They pulled him over and found his stockpile of weapons . . . as well as some newspaper clippings about the shooting in Colorado. They searched his home and found more guns, including a machine gun, rifles, and handguns. He’s now facing concealed weapon and criminal speeding charges.  The cops say he wasn’t planning on shooting anyone at “Dark Knight”, so they’re not sure why he took the gun with him.

On Sunday in Sweden, a 31-year-old man was on a carnival ride with his young daughters where they were driving a little car on a small track. Well . . . the man says his four-year-old couldn’t reach the pedal, so he hopped onto her car to help.  Only the car had a metal TRAILER HITCH sticking up near the back.  And when the man hopped on, he landed on it . . . BUTTHOLE FIRST. The trailer hitch RIPPED THROUGH HIS JEANS and went deep into him.  He started screaming . . . and couldn’t get free on his own.  An employee had to come lift him up off the hitch. He drove his girls home, but started shivering and got sick.  He went to the hospital and found out he had BLOOD POISONING from the impaling.  He’s still recovering, but the doctors say he should be okay. That sucks!

SALLY RIDE . . . who was the first American woman in space . . . died yesterday. She was only 61. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer almost a year and a half ago. Besides the first American woman in space…..Sally Ride was physicist, an author of five science books for children, president of her own company called Sally Ride Science, and was on the president’s committee of science advisers. She was also a lesbian! I didn’t know that until yesterday…..when her mentioned that she is survived by her “partner” of 27 years (a very handsome woman), her mother, sister and a niece and nephew.

The Cardinals lost to the Dodgers last night 5-3. A late game 2 run homer from Carlos Beltran brought the Cards closer but, still, they pick up the lost. Tonight, at 7:15 the Cards and Dodgers are back in action…Adam Wainwright takes the Mound for the Cardinals.

It’s rare you see this. Ichiro Suzuki was traded from the Mariners to the Yankees yesterday.  The Mariners were playing the Yanks in Seattle and Ichiro was actually in uniform and playing for his new team in front of his old fans.

CHAD OCHOCINCO is no more . . . and CHAD JOHNSON is BACK. Chad officially changed his name back, mainly so that his new wife Evelyn could have a NORMAL last name.

And finally – Dallas Cowboys receiver DEZ BRYANT was officially charged with misdemeanor assault yesterday. Dez is accused of roughing up his MOTHER last week in her Texas home in an assault that included him hitting her with his HAT and grabbin her so hard that he ripped off her bra.

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
This entry was posted in Comedy. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s