GET THE $%^! OUTTA HERE (08/06/12) [AUDIO]

We’ve all heard stories that leave you with no words right? Some stories are just to amazing to be true. And by amazing we mean UNREAL! It leaves you with only one thing the say…and that is…GET THE F$#! OUTTA HERE!

The ad by itself wouldn’t have raised eyebrows: a monkey on gymnastics rings, a spot intended to introduce an upcoming NBC comedy called “Animal Practice.” But one of the times it was aired—right after a Bob Costas commentary on Gabby Douglas’ gold medal inspiring other African-American girls to become gymnasts—pushed NBC to come forward and say the ad was poorly timed and not meant to offend. The gymnastics-themed commercial was specifically timed to run late Thursday night following the women’s gold medal competition. NBC said it was scheduled to run before the network knew about Costas’ commentary. “Much of America has fallen in love with Gabby Douglas,” Costas said. “Also safe to say that there are some young African-American girls out there who tonight are saying to themselves, ‘Hey, I’d like to try that, too.'” Then NBC switched to the commercial with the small, widely grinning monkey on the rings. “Gabby Douglas’ gold medal performance last night was an historic and inspiring achievement,” NBC Universal spokeswoman Liz Fischer said. “The spot promoting ‘Animal Practice,’ which has run three times previously, is one in a series with an Olympic theme, which have been scheduled for maximum exposure. Certainly no offense was intended.”

This is almost as good as the ‘Pho King’ that I drove past in the valley a couple years ago.
…Just in case you’re unaware, ‘Pho’ is a Vietnamese dish that is pronounced like ‘fuh.’
Yeah. That being said, you have to have a sense of humor and appreciate Michael DeClue’s ‘Orange County Master Bait Shop’ in Orange, Va. DeClue’s Master Bait Shop is stirring up quite the little controversy in his home town because of it’s double-entendre of a name. His Master Bait Shop, which slogan reads ‘home of the fattest worm in town,’ is only two weeks old and has already been a victim to public outcry and $1,300 in vandalism because of the chosen name. “The name is Orange County Master Bait Shop,” DeClue told NBC Channel 29. DeClue then went on to say that he chose the name to be memorable and that whatever innuendo locals want to associate with his business is just that — their own business.

The District of Columbia is paying more than 300 students $5.25 an hour to attend summer school. The “Summer Bridge” program pays rising ninth-graders who are identified as “less likely than their peers” to graduate on time. According to the report, only 53 percent of D.C. public school (DCPS) students graduate high school within four years — a number the summer program hopes to elevate.  The Summer Bridge program comes after a similar 2008 district experiment, in which some students were given points — each worth $2 — for good grades, behavior and attendance. Harvard economist Roland Fryer was the motivating force behind the Pay-To-Behave program, saying money can be used as a reward to under performing and unmotivated students.

Two years ago we talked about the death of Megan Duskey. She was the 23-year-old special education teacher who tried sliding down a stair’s banister during a Halloween party and plunged four stories to her death. Now it is being reported that her family is suing the hotel. James and Deborah Duskey have filed a lawsuit against Hilton Worldwide, the Palmer House Hilton, Surreal Chicago and Adrenaline Y2K, claiming their combined negligence was the cause of their daughter’s death. They allege the named parties allowed party-goers to drink unlimited amounts of alcohol and failed to provide proper security to protect the drunks…from themselves? Duskey was one of around 2,000 people who attended the Haunted Hotel Ball at Chicago’s Palmer House Hilton in 2010. She had arrived dressed as Silk Spectre from The Watchman comics and had only been there for around 30 minutes when she attempted to slide down a banister on the hotel’s mezzanine level.Unfortunately, she lost her balance and fell four stories to the basement level. By time police arrived, she was already dead from head trauma. Police investigated and determined there had been no foul play, adding that alcohol may have been a factor in Duskey’s death.

Here is a quickie:  Fiat is coming with with a car that has a built-in espresso machine.  GTFOH!

35-year-old Alice Van Ness is a yoga instructor, and since March, she’s worked in-house at Facebook’s headquarters in Menlo Park, California teaching weekly classes. That all ended a few weeks ago when Alice was FIRED . . . for telling a Facebook employee not to check Facebook during class. Alice was teaching when one female Facebook employee was typing away on her phone in the front row.  Alice told everyone in class to turn off their phones . . . which, if you’ve ever taken yoga, is something ALL yoga instructors do. Halfway through the class, the woman picked up her phone and hopped back on Facebook.  So Alice stopped teaching and glared at her until she put down the phone. The employee complained . . . and Alice was fired by Facebook’s fitness contractor, Plus One Health Management.  They say they fired her because she didn’t meet their goal of, quote, “providing great customer service.”

“Octomom” NADYA SULEMAN has tried everything to raise money.  Now it’s come to this:  STRAIGHT-UP BEGGING. Nadya has set up an account on, which is one of those sites where people look for donations for various projects or needs. And Nadya needs a new house.  The one she’s been living in was FINALLY foreclosed on last month, and she needs to be out in two weeks.  She’s seeking $150,000 to get into a new place. When we checked last night, she was up to $2,609.00 in donation. See the SITE here.

In 2010, Homeland Security found out about a flight school in Boston that was allowing illegal immigrants to take flying lessons.         That worried some people . . . and this week, Congress has been holding hearings to find out how that could have happened.  But on Wednesday, they found out something that probably worried them even MORE.       It turns out, there’s a pretty big loophole in the no-fly list.  There’s nothing that stops AMERICANS from taking flying lessons . . . even if they’re on the no-fly list. Foreigners who come here to go to flight school get screened against the list . . . but American citizens don’t get the same level of screening by the schools. They wouldn’t be allowed to get a pilot’s LICENSE, but there’s nothing that stops them from getting flight training. There are about 550 Americans on the no-fly list . . . and a TSA representative said he didn’t know if any of them had gotten flight lessons.

Like every drug, Propecia has a laundry list of possible side effects.  This is definitely NOT on that list . . . but maybe now it should be. 38-year-old William McKee of Tampa, Florida took Propecia for nine months to try to cure his baldness . . . but it TURNED HIM INTO A WOMAN. Quote, “My rock-hard chest from the gym began to soften, reaching the point where I had noticeable breasts.  My shoulders were literally falling into a more feminine position and my hips were loosening and becoming wider.” William also says it gave him an overwhelming urge to CROSS-DRESS . . . so now he goes by Mandi, is separated from his wife, and finds himself attracted to men.  The Propecia DIDN’T help his baldness, so he wears a blonde wig. Propecia DOES inhibit testosterone, which leads to increased estrogen.  That makes hair grow . . . but more than two dozen men have sued Merck, the company behind the drug, saying it ruined their sex drives.  Merck is fighting those lawsuits. William didn’t take Merck’s Propecia, he took a generic version he bought online from India . . . so he can’t sue.  This is the first case of someone saying Propecia literally turned them female.


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Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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